The title is not intended to suggest that everything on this page is, at one and the same time, curious, absurd and lamentable; although some might be.
The purpose of the page is to share with you people, incidents and situations that I have come across, mostly on my motorcycle meanders, that have struck me as being curious or, at times, even absurd or, perhaps, just lamentable! Actually, some might be better described as simply delightful.
You be the judge as to which incidents fall into which categories.
The Right Sales Pitch!
This sales pitch might not resonate with the Western shopper – at least, not in its literal rendition. But it was certainly an eye-catcher for us. The sign was in a shop tucked away on a narrow, stone road high up in the interior of the magnificent Jaisalmer fort in Rajasthan. The vendor was onto something.
A frequent enquiry was whether his various spreads, doona covers and throw-overs would fit a double, queen size or king size bed. These measurement benchmarks were not common currency in Jaisalmer or, probably, anywhere in India. So how do you respond, in anticipation, to a Western customer’s need for a suitable measurement benchmark?Well, this vendor was making it incontrovertibly clear that his bed spread would be fine for a bed that was intended to accommodate the master and only one wife. However, I don’t think he was intending to imply that a master with more than one wife would necessarily have additional wives in the one bed!
His sales pitch certainly worked on Paul and Viki, my friends from Brisbane, whom I first met on the Rajasthan tour. They obviously thought that the ‘one wife’ benchmark worked for them.
A Modern Dorian Gray?
This photo was taken at Lakes Entrance, Victoria, in March 2007. I was on the BMW TourenSport Safari; and enjoying lunch on the pier with my friends from Brisbane, Paul and Viki, from the Rajasthan tour, and Joe and Marg, whom I met on the Safari. This beautiful, young lady was enjoying a glass of wine with a friend on a nearby table.
I was first struck by her beauty. Almost intoxicated. Then, as I quietly and privately lost myself in admiration of her, she inhaled on a cigarette and let the toxic, carcinogenic smoke ooze from her facial orifices so that her refined, beautiful features were air-brushed by the fog of burnt tobacco.
I later thought of The Picture of Dorian Gray – a novel by Oscar Wilde. You might recall that, as Dorian pursued his life of debauchery, he retained his youthful beauty, while a portrait of him, originally capturing that beauty, slowly manifested the traits of his lifestyle. It was all part of a pact he had made with the Devil. He would stay young and beautiful; whereas the picture would deteriorate into the ugliness that his vices would otherwise have rendered on him. Perhaps, the object of my passing admiration wasn’t quite in Dorian Gray’s league, but, with a little imagination, I could see that young, beautiful face, her nicely formed nose and her perfect lips, taking on all the vestiges of the nicotine-laden smoke that had just wafted from her half-open mouth and her slowing exhaling nostrils. If you look carefully, you can see the look of disbelief on her companion, reflected in her sunglasses, as she (the companion) helplessly watches – possibly reminded of Dorian Gray!
I moved my attention to the peace and serenity that a pelican exuded as it skated blithely and artistically across the calm waters of Lakes Entrance.
Three Turkish Muslim Young Women
Muslim traditions vary significantly from country to country and from sect to sect within a country. Turkey is a country that, in so many ways, straddles East and West, Christian and Muslim, Europe and Asia. For the most part, over the centuries, there was a degree of tolerance, understanding and respect across cultural and religious divides. That was until the horrific rending apart of Ottoman Greek Orthodox and Ottoman Muslim. Both saw themselves as simply Ottomans. Neither understood why distant politicians thrust division and deportation on them.
I suspect neither Christians nor Muslims outside Turkey have any realistic appreciation of the historical, cultural or religious history or dynamics that prevail in modern day Turkey. Even some Turks have a problem with these issues.
Anyway, the point of this snippet is to capture the attitude of three ‘random’ young Muslim girls wandering through the cemetery of the Eyüp Mosque way up the Golden Horn in Istanbul. I ran into them during my Turkish tour in 2008.
As I was making my way from the Pierre Loti Café, at the high point of the Golden Horn, back down to the Eyüp Mosque, where I had already spent some time, I encountered these three beautiful young women. As they approached, I aimed my camera, only to be confronted with .... well, one must distinguish (first photo):
Far left: “Take my photo!”
Second from left: “I’m not sure!”
Third from left: “Please, No Photo!”
Then, we spoke as we passed closely. The atmosphere changed. They became more relaxed and the second photo ensued.
What a wonderful experience! Perhaps, for both them and me.I guess I’ll never know.
Meters Galore
With all the attention being given to combating climate change; and the market effectiveness of an emissions trading scheme, the role of meters must surely be recognised as a vital and essential component in any climate change response scenario involving emissions measurement.
The Mackay City Council (Queensland) is certainly taking it all very seriously. This sign, one of several, is in the Mackay Botanical Gardens. I spotted it during my Big Trip North. I wasn’t sure of the precise message. Was there some ratio linking the number of meters and the number of steps? Steps to what? A resolution to climate change? So, at the point of the sign, there are still 2750 steps to the end point; and 1925 meters will be needed.
But, there is no break-down given as to how many meters might be for electricity, gas, water, carbon dioxide, methane (are some meters to be fitted to the Mackay cows - at one or other or both ends?), or any other potentially climate-changing substance.
Then, again, sitting in the shade of a wonderful, traditional, Islander-inspired meeting house, with its open sides and high thatched roof – a tribute to the significant contribution to the development of the area made by Pacific Islanders over the decades, I wondered whether I might not have gone off on a tangent, too absorbed by contemporary media obsession.
Could it be that the Mackay Council staff or their contracted graphic designers or even their sign writers – in any case, all paid by Mackay rate payers – had their Microsoft Word or Publisher or whatever software they used....set on “US English”? Overlooking any oxymoron secreted in that descriptor, the end result would have been total confusion about meter vs metre, the latter being entirely foreign in “US English”.
So, did Mackay Council really intended to have said ‘1925 metres’?
That would make more sense. A quick use of my calculator told me that there was an explainable and credible ratio between 2750 steps and 1925 metres. One step equalled 0.7 of a metre. A bit small, especially for Queensland, where everything is bigger than the norm, but a reasonable reflection of the average tourist’s ambulation pace.
Plea to Mackay Council: please make amends – to the Public, to the rate payer and to the English language.
A Fowl Rest Area!
The Mallee lands of Australia are a vast tract of scrubland extending from Western Australia across South Australia into northern Victoria and south-western N.S.W. The Mallee encompasses almost a fifth of the land mass and comprises one of the main ecological systems that dominate the continent. It’s a multiplicity of interlinked environments, harbouring more than 700 distinct plant species, 400 kinds of birds and countless animals and insects. (Threat to Mallee Lands)
One of the threatened species is the Mallee Fowl. There are large areas in western NSW and Victoria that have been declared nature reserves in an effort to preserve the species.
I think you must pass through one on the road to Mildura. There are signs indicating breeding areas; and there’s the one in the picture! It had caught my attention a few times as we rode to and from a couple of Ghost Town Rallies in Broken Hill (NSW), but it hadn’t been convenient to stop and take a photo. However, on my recent Big Trip North – day 2 – I made a point of stopping.
The Rest Area, of course, is one of hundreds along main highways to encourage drivers to take a break and to provide facilities for all travellers. But the announcement of a Mallee Fowl Rest Area conjured up a whole new image. Would there be artificial mounds to encourage the Mallee Fowl to breed? Or just water and seeds for snacks during a stop-over on their way somewhere? I wasn’t all that surprised not to find any Mallee Fowl at all; just a couple of motor homes and a few grey nomads.
I hope the Mallee Fowl appreciate the work that has gone into their rest area.
The Toilet Seat Dilemma
How many times do men cop it for not putting the toilet seat down? Well, this seemed a new take on the problem. This was at the National Transport Hall of Fame in Alice Springs – on the wall in the Gents. I visited the Hall of Fame on my Big Trip North.
You’d think a transport hall of fame would be a bloke’s world if ever there was one. Why would blokes – at a truck museum of all places – have to kowtow to the expectations of the other, even if far better, half? The toilet seat would be fine left up!
Ah, well. There’s more to it. It seems they have a huge mosquito problem. The little biters must like to muster in the water in the toilet bowl. It’s not the seat so much as the lid that has to be kept down to keep the ubiquitous mozzie out. Notice the mozzies on the sign!
What is Genuine and What is Fake?
Nobody likes to buy something they think is genuine only to discover belatedly that it is a fake. All too often these days, ‘genuine’ products are passed off as such, but are reproductions or copies, in other words, fakes.
But there’s no deception or misleading of the buyer here. You know you’re getting the real thing. This guy’s fake watches are genuinely fake. That’s guaranteed.
This was taken in April 2008, during my Turkey tour.
Is There Life after Death?
I’m sure a lot of you have agonised over this conundrum. Most, undoubtedly, assume the answer from their religious, theist, atheist, creationist or evolutionist beliefs. Some, however, no doubt, ponder the potential answer based on their philosophical or theological beliefs, analysis, curiosity or doubts.
Have I found the answer? Is there really no through road beyond the cemetery, no way to travel past the grave, no way out? Essentially, what we have all been wondering, deep within us, despite our overt manifestations of our Jewish, Christian, Islamic, Hindu, Buddhist, or other beliefs, is what awaits us after death.
For Christians, over the centuries, the options were Limbo (permanently), Purgatory (temporarily), Heaven or Hell (both permanently). Then, with a stroke of the pen, the Vatican ‘abolished’ Limbo. Apart from the inconvenience of the word having become commonplace in the English language (and is still used despite the Vatican edict), one has to wonder what happened to all those souls who were confined to Limbo over so many centuries. Were they shunted off to cross the River Styx in make-shift refugee boats?
If you’re a Muslim, I understand, you will be rewarded with so many virgins. Or is that only if you’re a martyr? I’m not sure how female Muslims would feel about that – especially the female martyrs. But, then, of course, there are male virgins. After all, I was one for 24 years. So the female Muslim martyrs might have something to look forward to.
I don’t know enough about the Asian religions to comment further about what their followers might expect is in store for them.
However, let's get to get to the real point of this item, namely, where do the the civic and ecclesiastical leaders of the NSW town of Berridale stand on the eternal (or otherwise) conundrum?
Well, I guess it’s obvious from the sign in the picture. I spotted it returning from the Snowy Ride in November, 2009. It's on the northern edge of Berridale. The vicinity was once called Gegedzerick.
If you die and go the local cemetery in Berridale, then that’s it. There’s ‘no through road’. There’s no going beyond the grave, It all ends in the cemetery – lovely bones or not!
So, it doesn’t matter if you’re Jewish, Christian or Muslim, if you die and are buried in Berridale, there simply is no through road to take you anywhere!
Sorry!
But Wait! There’s Salvation!
You don’t have to end it all at Berridale Cemetery. Just a few miles – and a few more kilometres – up the Snowy Mountains Highway, between Adaminaby and Kiandra, there is this sign directing you to eternal salvation.
Well, that’s what I assumed.
My Concise Oxford Dictionary tells me that providence means “1 the protective care of God or nature. 2 (Providence) God in this aspect.”It then tells me that portal means “a doorway or gate etc., especially a large and elaborate one.”
This is surely a sign pointing to the Gates of Heaven!
So don’t let yourself feel despondent by the previous item. It doesn’t have to be the end of the world.
One of Life's Anomolies
I ride twice a week with a bunch of mates. We cover, on average, about 50-60kms a ride; but not on motorcycles. It’s on bicycles or pushbikes or whatever you want to call them.
Most often, we ride around Lake Burley Griffin, the architectural centrepiece of the original concept of Canberra, designed by Walter Burley Griffin.
On the northern shores of Lake Burley Griffin, east of the city centre, is Clare Holland House. It has a special place in the hearts of Canberrans.
It’s a hospice that provides palliative care to the terminally ill – and much-needed support to their families. I’m guessing that most of its clients/guests/patients are cancer sufferers.
I have met a marvellous woman, Jenni, whose husband was cared for and died there. He had a brain tumour. Jenni committed herself to obtaining improvements in the conditions of those who were spending their last years, months, weeks or days there. She succeeded in getting significant commitments from the ACT government to improve their conditions.
I had great admiration for her and her commitment.
Recently, as we rode past the hospice, as we had done so many times, one of my fellow riders commented on a staff member of the hospice, standing nonchalantly outside a door, casually smoking a cigarette.
Remember that this is a hospice for people, mostly dying of cancer – a lot, one would expect, from smoking.
I wandered back, thinking maybe he had seen an apparition. But a single amble around the hospice revealed, seemingly, a staff member ensconced at a table in the loading dock, engrossed in study material or patient files, with her cigarette pack consolingly close by; a visitor, I presumed, in the protective shade of a gazebo, who consumed a cigarette in accelerated time; and, as if in official concurrence, a smokers’ haunt complete with smokers’ tray.
One wonders about people, who comes into daily contact with the ravages of cancer, and still feel the need to smoke, and about people visiting a dying loved one, who have to duck out for a cancerous fag. In both case, they then return to the patients and their relatives reeking of tobacco smoke, as happens when smokers come inside from having their compulsive drag, bringing with them the very stench that patients and relatives alike would most abhor.
There is something cruelly ironical about acceptance and, even, facilitation of smoking on the very doorstep of a hospice for the terminally ill, many from cancer.
I don’t harshly judge the smokers. The staff must be subject to enormous daily stresses that some can cope with only with the comfort of their cigarettes. I’m a little less sympathetic towards the visitors who can’t forego a drag for the time that they are with their relatives or friends. But, maybe, they are there for long periods and camouflage their agony with, as it were, a smoke screen of tobacco.
Perhaps, Health Care ACT and the Little Company of Mary should get together to improve health conditions of staff and visitors.
Epilogue
I received this response from a friend and fellow motorcyclist within 24 hours of publishing:
Clare Holland House – a wonderful place staffed by the most generous and caring people. I spent time there a few years back with my friend who was dying of cancer, and whose passing was made so much easier by those wonderful people. And I knew Jenni xxxxxxxwhen she was at Dept Finance – a lovely lady. She is another incredibly caring person. I also admired the work she did there at Clare Holland. And one more connection with your story – I have a friend who is an IC nurse. She absolutely rails against patients who smoke – she finds it so frustrating to bring people back from the brink to have them disappear out for a smoke.
There, I’ve said my piece – you made a connection and I had to share.
J….
Do You Need to be Told?
I might not be the fastest bike at the track (metaphorically speaking), but climbing up the steep, tight turns to the top of Mount Hotham in the Victorian Alps, as I have done many times with fellow travellers, I have never felt the need to be told that I must keep right of the poles. Not to put too fine a point on it, but it’s just a little obvious!Would you really want to venture left of the poles?
In fairness, however, the road does get snow-covered in winter (it’s close to 2000m here). That’s also why the lines are painted yellow instead of white, as they are everywhere else. Yellow in snow catches the attention. Snow also tends to blur the edges of the road and the too far point of the top of the drop-off. So, it’s a useful admonition – to be well heeded – to keep right of the poles!
Slide Show
Here is a slide show of the above photos and a few more. You might like to enjoy some of them in full screen view; and see a few others that either relate to the above articles or are in the back of my mind for a future article. Click on the arrow to see the slide show; or click elsewhere on the picture to view it in full screen.